I can’t count the number of women I’ve had “the talk” with. No, not birds and bees talk, the talk where I try to sell them on the awesomeness of not just lifting weights, but lifting heavy weights.

The talk is usually delivered shortly after they ask me what exercises they can do to loose weight, flatten their stomachs, tone their thighs, etc. When I tell them that adding some good heavy weight lifting is the best change they can make for their problem they either glaze over or look confused.

I don’t blame them. Any woman exposed to the “knowledge” that is floating around in the mainstream fitness world says that boys lift weights and girls do cardio and strippersize. Any information that does advise women to lift weights warns them that doing many repetitions with lighter weights is the only way for women to lift without “bulking up.” This is when I glaze over and look confused.

Most of my time in “the talk” is spent explaining what weight lifting will NOT do for women. Here I’d like to stress five very positive reasons, practical and aesthetic, why women should lift weights:

1. Weight Loss
Lifting heavy or “challenging” weights builds muscle. The more muscle on your body the more calories it burns, even when you’re not exercising. Depending on your metabolism, an extra pound of muscle can make your body burn between ten to fifty calories per day. If you had three more pounds of muscle on you right now, that could burn just as many calories as a twenty-minute walk EVERY DAY!

2. Functional strength
There is a sense of pride and security that comes with knowing how much weight you can lift from the floor, push away from your chest, or carry across a room on your back. Most women are strong enough to handle every-day strength requirements like carrying groceries but are unsure how capable they might be in an emergency situation. The question I always ask is “Would you be able to pick up your child, if hurt, and carry them to safety?” It’s a question that illustrates that lifting weight has practical reasons as well as health and aesthetic.

3. Bone Density
As we age, particularly after menopause, we become increasingly susceptible to bone fractures and osteoporosis. Weight-bearing exercise stimulates bone growth. As you put demands on your bones through weight-lifting they become stronger and denser. Resistance exercises have been shown to protect against and even reverse the loss of bone density associated with age, menopause, and other risk factors.

4. Muscle Definition
If you are primarily concerned about your looks you still have nothing to fear in the weight room. Lifting heavy weights can give you firmness where things are jiggly and lift areas that are sagging. Upper-body work can give you shapely arms and prevent the dreaded ‘bat wings.’ Lower-body work can give you definition in your calves and perk up your derriere. What lifting weights will NOT do is give you bulging she-hulk muscles. Women simply do not have the natural testosterone required to form that kind of bulk.

5. Self Esteem
Weight lifting is great for the ego. It offers many milestones, big and small, that you can celebrate and feel proud of. You should keep a written account of your “Personal Records” for each major lift you attempt. If you’re new to weight lifting then chances are good you’ll be able to hit a new personal record each week for several months. There are other milestones you can track as well, such as “lift over 100lbs” or “lift my own bodyweight.” Weightlifting allows for continual improvement, and therefore continual personal gratification.

I could list several more reasons why women should add heavy weight training to their gym routine, but this covers about 99% of the goals that most people want to achieve at the gym. Most people go to the gym to look good and/or be healthier. Weight lifting can do both, and progress can be obvious after just a short amount of time. So what are you waiting for? Get to the weight room and start lifting!